a day in the life of pipboy

high time

2006-01-07T09:33:00.000+08:00

it's not the end. it's a new beginning.

deceptive

2006-01-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

i had my guidance tests interpreted today. the guidance councilor said that i was a man of deception. she said that i have fronts to cover up the complexity inside of me that others cannot understand. she also told me that i was in a lot of pain. my five stories, varied and creative as they were, centered around the two themes.

at first, i thought she was right. yeah. even those were tests that i took several years ago, i think it still holds well. i don't think anyone ever really understood me. that's why i liked starry, starry night. i can relate to the song very well. like jesus and van gogh, they weren't really appreciated when they were around. only upon their deaths were they recognized and given due credit.

van gogh? yeah, i think i can be creative when i want to. i think i can do anything that i want to do, although i might express it in supranatural ways.

jesus? messianic complex? not at all. benevolence, possibly.

to live a life unnoticed. that must be so sad. it feels bad to be alone.

earlier, i told my counselor about most of my thoughts. it felt weird talking to her about so many things i had in mind and in heart. however, it felt good to spill all my beans and guts on her. it really feels good when people listen to me.

and guess what? her psychological interpretations were right. without me telling her, she was able to tell me everything that i was thinking of. she was able to see beyond the words and really strike at the essence of my short stories that were interpreted.

i don't know if she had a magic spell, clairvoyant, a seer, or was just a damn good psychologist. nobody ever understood me as good as her. is it because of her uncanny ability to be vague and ambiguous? no... i don't think so. she was so specific with her thoughts that it was impossible for her to be doing some jedi mind tricks on me.

but what really made my day was when she asked me about my work. wow. what a compliment. it's not about her recognition of my fast-paced and active lifestyle that made me happy, rather it was how she sincerely remembered me. i wasn't a statistic. for her, i was r-jay. i was me.

wow. that was so nice to hear. it feels good to have a witness of who you are.

hmm... but being objective of the situation. did i hear what i had to hear? or just what i wanted to hear?

too tired to think about it, i shall dwell on it at neverland.

2006

2006-01-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

2005 was one of the most action-packed year of my life so far. lost a lot this year, but looking at the bright side, i learned a lot from it. life is what we make out of it.

2006 will be another year. to welcome the new year, i got myself a new wallet. old marithe gave up on me already. but since i liked the sturdiness of their product line, i got myself another one. if life is what we make out of it, then let me reflect upon my new wallet's significance.

Rj: hello wallet.

Wallet: hi rj.

R: you look good.

W: of course i do.

R: but looks aren't everything. do you think you'll be able to handle my needs for the next chapter of my life?

W: well, i don't know about the future, but i'm sure my product line shows a spectacular history right?

R: i guess you wouldn't be one of the best and famous wallets out there for nothing, would you?

W: i hope so. but different wallets are there for different purposes. what do you need right now?

R: i don't know. i kinda liked the 3-fold wallet. i can easily arrange my money into three sections. very good for segregating my money for home, school and personal use.

W: hmm... i don't think i'll be as flexible, being a no-fold wallet. but i do have more pockets than the previous one that you got! think about it. as you graduate, i guess you'll be having more calling and business cards to lug around. i could easily handle them for you.

R: wow, i never thought of that. but you don't have a coin purse! how would i be able to handle my coins?

W: that's a good one. it is quite hard to live without coins in this time and age. but think about it. do you really want to carry around coins? i mean, with your upcoming line of work, can't you bring another coin purse to handle your other needs?

R: i have been trying to learn about flexibility. maybe i should try living without coins. however, i must protest, i think you'll get me into trouble by not having coins for me. sooner or later, i think you'll have to learn how to carry coins.

W: sheesh. that's something for the future. let it take care of itself. for now, look at what i can offer to you.

R: i guess you're right. i've never fancied carrying coins around anyway. especially now! i've decided to start my P5 coin bank again. it will be filled with nothing but P5 and P10 coins! i reckon that will save me a lot of money by sanctifying my P5 and P10 coins.

W: yes! good thinking! and in the end, while you might not have been lugging all those coins around, we can change them into bills! something more useful and appropriate for us.

R: wow. i'm beginning to like you even more by the second.

W: why, thank you!

R: how much for this wallet?... ok, here you go, thank you mam

W: thanks for getting me. i promise we'll have a fun and wonderful time together.

R: we should! life is what we make of it. now let me move my stuff from my old wallet to you. this is my license to drive and get to places i want to go. can i trust you with this?

W: of course! i promise to keep this license so that you can keep going to places you want and need to get to. it doesn't matter whether it's a good place or a bad place. i know tbat in the end, it will be for the better.

R: thanks for having faith in me. i haven't used this in a while. but it's good in case of emergency. it's my passport to my other friends. you wouldn't mind if i share this with you?

W: no problem. your friends are my friends.

R: and books! of course i love books. can't get enough of them.

W: as long as it helps you, i'm with you.

R: hmm... what would you know. serendipity does seem to strike at the most appropriate time doesn't it? rockwell's dulcinea sure knows how to pack a nutrasweet pouch that can last through the years.

W: why, what's that?

R: nothing... jusr a reminder of something good in my past.

W: i can keep it for you! can i?

R: ... nah. this pouch stays with the old wallet. i'd like to keep some things the way they are. even though i won't be able to use the old wallet anymore, i hope you don't mind if some stuff remain where they are.

W: ... ok.

R: hai. moving on... let's move on. what's next? oh, my graduation picture from high school! dang. doesn't fit well. no matter. let's just put in my id. that should fill the void.

W: of course. we really can't have everything in this world, can't we?

R: yep. i realized that in that picture slot, one has to choose between their identification card and a special person's picture. unless you have the right kind of picture, you will either lose your identity or lose that person in the picture.

W: hmm... that's sad. why don't you carry around two wallets?

R: no, it's life. in addition, it wouldn't really be pracitcal to carry two wallets around. one has to make a decision.

W: well, if you really like your old wallet too much, why don't you have it fixed? you seem to have the capability to fix it.

R: i don't know. i guess this old wallet would be happier if i left it like that already. who am i to take away this wallet's happiness? it has done its job well and deserves some respect and rest. no matter, i like what you can do for me too.

W: but wouldn't that be unfair to both of us wallets if you haven't really decided properly on it?

R: heh. we'll see how it works out. as i've told my old wallet, nothing is impossible.

W: ok.

R: and lastly, for my finances. looks and words really can't keep us alive, can it? there has to be something real, useful and tangible to prove one's usefulness in such commitment.

W: sure. let me take care of those.

R: wouldn't you know. here we are. welcome to your new home.

W: hai!

life is what we make of it.

there are no wrong decisions, there are no mistakes in life. there are only lessons that we refuse to learn.

hello 2006.

bye bye belinda

2005-12-31T18:20:00.000+08:00

Little boy blue lost his shoe
One day paddling in the water
He cried and he cried and he realized
That its more fun to run without shoes

swooooooooooooooooooooosh!

2005-12-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

i really need a new hard disk. pldt just updated my bandwidth. from 80 kilobytes per second, i'm now packing 100 kilobytes per second! on a good burst, i can get as much as 120!

swooooooooooooooooooooosh!

or not really a new hard disk.

maybe a file server will do the trick.

hrmm... think about it. 4 possible physical drives each with a 500gb hard disk... that would be two terabytes!!!! enough to last me a life time! woooooooow! (or at least eighteen months)*

but let's stick to reality. that would be too expensive. maybe two 250gb hard disks for the moment. hrmm... half a terabyte... that might be enough...

but no good opinion is without a bad comment. so there, yes, i know it will suck big time if a hard disk fails on me and goes to hard-drive heaven with all my files...

but that's why there's raid! hrmm... let's see... to stripe or not to stripe, that is the question...

swooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!!

hrmm... how about a hard-drive tray? the interface with a key and lock that fits perfectly well on one of your cd-rom racks. yeah, that would be cheaper. hmm... yes, yes, it's getting clearer by the moment... hrmm...

swooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!!

reflections of a bored student

2005-12-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

5:35 pm

that means i still have an hour and forty to waste before i get out of class. i am sitting in at a decision support system class. interesting topic and class, i have to confess. but my mind can only stand so much

5.41 pm

time flies when you're having fun, i've long learned. and everytime it happens, it doesn't seem to make a difference. first minute, you're just starting to do it, the next minute you know, the fun's over.

making a decision model regarding system dynamics in hiring chains for a corporation.

5.45

i miss my quaker oats. i wasn't able to eat my oats this morning because i was so hungry. therefore, i had the normal breakfast meal of sunny-side up egg and tuna with some rice. i will have my choco-oats tonight. after a reading or two, as a reward.

5.50

libogia can't seem to do anything right. bored people say a lot of foolish things http://libogia.blogspot.com

6.00

yahooo! 10 minute break!

retards

2005-12-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

do i have to do everything?

it gets quite tiring after some time, damn it.

i might not have such patience all the time.

might lady luck shine on you when i unleash my ire.

hmmm

2005-11-27T10:25:00.000+08:00

you call that a tactic?!!

you disgust me.

requiem: in between the lines

2005-11-26T20:45:00.000+08:00

i'd do anything
to finish first,
for you to have
such thoughts...
reasons
are not needed,
to smile
my dear.

it feels good

2005-11-19T22:22:00.000+08:00

to be a student once again. and as short as it will be, i will make the most out of it.

the accomplishments and failures of the past are irrelevant.
the worries and promises of the future are disregardable.
what matters now is that i'm doing the right thing.

i am in a competition with no one but myself.

where there are can be only one winner.

weather report

2005-11-17T21:37:00.000+08:00

according to the news, we'll be in for a little shower the next couple of days and weeks. it is advisable to be ready with your umbrella or coat all the time.

we have to be vigilant, for when it rains on r-jay, it pours.

in the beginning, r-jay braved the violent and relentless rain. unfortunately, courageous r-jay got drenched but catch a cold and a flu.

this time, r-jay got wiser and used an umbrella. no more wet head that can give a headache. no more wet body to give a cold or flu.

but the damn rain was wiser.

the rain flooded r-jay this time. r-jay might have avoided the shower, but the consequences and aftermath of the rain did not go unnoticed.

so, in the following days, as a public service announcement, it will also be advisable to wear durable and water-proof boots.

if i could make it

2005-11-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

if i could make it through one more day, then maybe all this will change.

. . .

2005-11-15T19:41:00.000+08:00

i am so lucky.

binary

2005-11-13T20:54:00.000+08:00

there are only 10 people who can read binary, those who can and those who can't.

-=+=-

i cleaned my computer table today. it's my preparation for school's new semester. i finally placed the hard disks into their racks and put a casing for my tempo-rig. i also added two usb slots so that i don't keep plugging and unplugging stuff at the back. i used up half a roll of electric tape and around forty cable ties to minimize the cables that touch the floor. hehe. the only thing that's touching the floor except the table right now is the subwoofer. but i really don't have much of a choice there do i?

reinstalled all my essential pocketpc applications too. i hate it when the device hangs up and i am forced to hard-reset it. but hey, a computer is a computer is a computer. it is doomed to reset once in a while.

also got my uber-cool black leather shoe from bass back. after two weeks of stitching surgery, the shoe is as good as new and ready to wreck havoc.

heard the song "here's to the night" by eve 6 earlier while i was enjoying my double-patty meal number 5 at wendy's with biggie fries and drinks. yeah, one of my favorite songs a good four years ago.

the end is the beginning is the end

2005-11-12T07:59:00.000+08:00

condolences to my desktop. click here.

the transition phase from my p3-733 to my brother's amd 1 ghz will be a difficult one for me. i've grown to like that rig very much. but hey, i wouldn't complain if there were about a few more million cpu cycles in it for me. but hey, it's for the better, so let's do it! amd 1 ghz, here we go!

i pulled a muscle below my thigh a few days ago and it still won't allow me to walk properly. i'm giving it a few more days before i bring some apples to my doctor.

too many questions

2005-11-06T19:53:00.000+08:00

too many questions, i need an answer

or maybe i just need to sleep

today is the day after tomorrow two days ago

2005-11-06T17:55:00.000+08:00

and tomorrow, i shall be getting my advisement slip.

my grades, too. if i hit my desired grade, i'll look at it. otherwise, i'll throw or stash it away somewhere for later viewing.

one two three four five six!

2005-11-06T15:37:00.000+08:00

We are the ones who dwell within
I am Cain
I am Nero
I am Belail
I am Legian
I am Judas
And I am Lucifer in the flesh!
1 2 3 4 5 6!
I give you tricks and treats!

just a ride

2005-11-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

Life, it's ever so strange
It's so full of change
Think that you've worked it out
then BANG
Right out of the blue
Something happens to you
To throw you off course
and then you

Breakdown
Yeah you breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
don't be scared
don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don't forget it's just a ride

Truth, we don't wanna hear
It's too much to take
Don't like to feel out of control
So we make our plans
Ten times a day
And when they don't go
our way we

Breakdown
Yeah we breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
don't be scared
don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don't forget it's just a ride

Slowly, oh so very slowly
accept that
there's no getting off
So live it, just gotta go with it
coz this ride's, never gonna stop

Breakdown
Don't you breakdown
No need to breakdown
No need at all
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you all around
Sometimes you're up
sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
don't be scared now
dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don't forget enjoy the ride x2

bulacan backlog

2005-11-03T06:44:00.000+08:00

11/1/05

Gusto mo ba sumama sa magic space ship ko? Kung mayroon kang puwedeng isama sa kalawakan, sino kaya isasama mo? Kung guguho na ang mundo, sino isasama mo bukod sa iyong pamilya?

Kung maliligaw ka sa isang di mo alam na lugar, sino ang gugustuhin mong drayber? Kanino mo ipagkakatiwala ang iyong panahon at lakad? Ito lamang ang pagkakataon para makadalo ka sa lakad na ito. Sino?

Sabi nga, maghanap at ika'y makakakita. Magtanong at ika'y masasagot. Kumatok at ika'y pagbubuksan. Ngunit anong gagawain mo kung iba ang kinalabasan ng iyong nakita sa hinahangad? Iba ang sagot na iyong di matanto? Iba ang nagbukas sa iyong inaasahan? Anong gagawain mo? Mali. Ano ang iyong dapat na ginawa?

whenever you feel lost, stop thinking. Only then will you realize how many people are tagging along on your journey. Only then can you see the value of the people around you. Only then did I see who’s there for the company and who’s there otherwise.

Have you ever jogged at a school oval alone? Have you ever done it at the province? Ever done it on all soul's day? Ever done it at a school where a childhood friend of yours died? Ever hit the tracks alone but with the feeling that you're not alone? Ever had the gravel make sounds good for two pairs of footfalls on a lonely night jog? If you've answered yes to any of the above, then you're not alone. Or i'm not alone.

Silence is so hard to find nowadays. It's as if people have agreed in a silent competition with each other - out to see who can make the most noise. School, office, province - wherever - you name it, people will be there to make noise. It could be a funky 2.0, a bastardized karoyowkee, a new compo or whatever that can make noise. whatever happened to the calmness that zen gardens offered? People in japan actually spend a lot just for some moments of silence at the park. In the philippines, business has been picking up for health spas - fitness centers that approximated the tranquility of the philippines 2 decades ago.

This feeling last visited me 5 years ago.

Until now, I haven't learned.

I guess I know now what happens at the asylum. If you're not whack when you get there, you will be. All that idle time will fry your brain.

It's never too good to have too much of something. but, ever the opportunistic entrepreneur, let's see how I turn this into a wonderful situation.

11/2/05

My scientific experiments are carrying along very well. The more sleep that I get, the more dreams I can remember. nightmares helped in that they were harder to forget by default. More sleep = improved memory. Why? sleep shows increasing vulnerability from the subconscious. While I wake up every two hours, just enough for an nrem cycle, the limit remains at 7 hours of sleep for me. Any more and I get headaches.

No one's invisible. Almost proved that one yesterday. after 7 years of a clean record without any dogbites, a dog almost got me yesterday. It came from behind as dogs like to do. It's fangs were almost there at my legs. Fortunately, the dog's small mouth didn't allow for any anchorage at my stubby leg. I actually felt it’s saliva-coated tongue lick the back of me leg. Damn you morlock.

pba. Bayan ng superstars. Watched several games during the break. One of the games was alaska vs red bull. Very interesting how team mates/players from the uaad slugged it out against each other. Bugia, villanueva and fonacier vs alvarez, cardona and allado. By the way, the friggin beermen lost by two points. A come-from-behind-doggy-maneuver-win. Hate it when that happens.

i'm off to see the wizard

2005-10-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

the wonderful wizard of bulacan.

it's one of the few times of the year when i can let go of everything and rejuvenate my self. yeah. i'm talking about going to the province. every time i go there, i get to do the things that allow me to reflect on what i really want in life. nothing like the shallow reflections that i pass for my academic requirements. nothing like the ones that i get as i trudge along finals week. it's the mother of all mothers of reflection modes.

what does bulacan have that other places don't? what makes it conducive to reflection?

let me answer with what's not at bulacan. bulacan just has very few distractions. no dsl. no ps2. no cable tv. along with that, comes no work. no stress. no traffic. no worries. nothing but fun, peace and quiet.

at least that's what i get during my night walks. yep, there' s certain ritual i perform whenever i'm there and whenever i get a chance. i go cemetery tripping. yeap. after dinner, which is around 7, i go out of the house and head to the cemetery. i taka a bike of course, for practical purposes. the cemetery is a good kilometer uphill hike after several hundred meters of walking. it would be efficient and effective for me to use a bike. plus, i need a getaway vehicle if a ghost, tikbalang or manananggal does pop up. so far, i haven't had any encounters with such, much to my dismay.

so what's so special at the cemetery?

it's the place where very few people go at night. and it's something that i am fond of doing - trekking the path less taken. as i've said, if there's anything that's better than learning new things, i haven't found it yet.

from the cemetery, you get a good view. the city. the lights. the chapel. the houses. the drunkards. the love birds. the trees. the farmlands. the mountains. the sky. on a lucky night, the sky would be filled with twinkling stars while i sit beneath the pale moonlight.

all of these with a good thousand or two corpses behind me. at some point, the thought becomes creepy that i am forced to leave the area. everytime i go there, i try to see how long i can last until i get beaten by my imagination. how long will it take me before i allow myself to lose to the unknown and unproven? it's usually between twenty to thirty minutes. and when i'm back at the city, that's the only time i realize that i let myself get the best out of me. of course, there wouldn't be any ghosts or mundane equivalents of ethereal demons back there. sheesh... but then again, as i always say to myself, there's always a first time for everything.

the fear that is prevalent in such area allows me to forget everything else that matters in this world. the fear allows me to think of nothing but myself. i should save myself before the ghosts get me. and in those selfish moments, i always get to realize how pathetic it would be to save myself just because of myself. so i decide to stay and let them at me. if there really are ghosts, then let me see them. it would be a wonderful experience if i get to live through it. after which, the fear just gets too much. the silence of the night fails to assure me of my safety - if not physical then at least mental. that is the time that i go back. it is the time when i realize i can't go down like this. i still have things to do. i still have others waiting for me.

this ritual works all the time. catharsis - rj-style. and as i go there tomorrow, i wonder, what kind of ghosts will i have to deal with, what things are out there that i still have to do and who will be waiting for me?

welcome to the philippines

2005-10-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

spent a bit of time welcoming delegates of ACM yesterday. ACM is a programming competition pooling the best people from all over asia. yesterday, i learned several things when i got to interact with several indonesian contestant.

kamu jelek

it literally means, "you're ugly." it is one of the few phrases i picked up yesterday. another entry to my vocabulary of curses and insults. hehe. if i wanted to, i could curse you in your native language. it's one of the things that i make a point of whenever i meet foreigners. i have to learn their curses. right now i can curse you in tagalog, english, spanish, chinese, german, french, japanese and indonesian. yeap. and if you've got another curse i should know of, don't hesitate to tell me.

one of the good things when you meet foreigners is that you can learn a lot from them. and if there's something else better than learning new stuff, i haven't found it yet. learning those stuff above was fun. we all had a good laugh - even the dean of their school was laughing. i think they deserved to be laughing and happy. with the tense atmosphere due to the competition and their unfamiliarity with the place, they needed something to take their minds off their heads. and i think kamu jelek did the job well.

welcome to the philippines.

welcome to my country.

life

2005-10-26T13:31:00.000+08:00

is too short. so, i'll make this quick so that i can do other stuff. ciao.

opportunity cost

2005-10-23T17:31:00.000+08:00

you really are something.

it was only this afternoon that i realized what you did several years back. you played defense very well. i was bluffed into a situation but i don't mind because i would have done the same thing.

as for everyone else, i apologize for not being so attentive. everything has an opportunity cost. maybe in the future. but not then and not now and not anytime soon. everything has an opportunity cost.

need to control myself for area 51

2005-10-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

that's why i'm going to open a bank account so that i don't spend all my money. i want to invest for something in the future. so far, my top pick is metrobank. why? easy. they've got good parking spaces over at katipunan and they've got branches everywhere. makes life easy for me. and they don't seem to be as complicated as other banks - based from my research. you plop your money, it earns interest. doesn't have to get more complicated than that and all those computations.

would have wanted those time deposits, but i need a flexible bank account. good ideas are always only a jog away.

so, on monday, i'll be having another pass book. it'll be my fourth. i currently have two accounts already active. but i don't hold them accounts.

yeah, and i don't believe in banks. i can earn earn more if i put my money to work outside rather than rely on the bank's measly interest. that's why i only have the maintaining balance for some accounts. however, the risk and impact of over-spending is greater than the reward of making my own dough.

this is a personal challenge. let's see if i can make or keep 51 Gs by the end of the school year. hmm... would have wanted to swing for 100 but that would mean 20k per month. i can but i won't. that's no longer fun for me. so, let the games begin!

a kiss to build a dream on

2005-10-22T08:40:00.000+08:00

Give me a kiss to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this
A kiss to build a dream on

Give me a kiss before you leave me
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart
Leave me one thing before we part
A kiss to build a dream on

When I’m alone with my fancies...I’ll be with you
Weaving romances...making believe they’re true

Give me your lips for just a moment
And my imagination will make that moment live
Give me what you alone can give
A kiss to build a dream on

When I’m alone with my fancies...I’ll be with you
Weaving romances...making believe they’re true

Give me a kiss to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss
Ah sweetheart, I ask no more than this
A kiss to build a dream on

air pegasus 2005

2005-10-21T08:05:00.000+08:00

An aggressive update to the classic Air Pegasus franchise. For the runner looking for that classic, smooth feel of the Air Pegasus shoe.

Upper: A combination of lightweight mesh and synthetic leather overlays with a vented midfoot saddle for support and breathability.

Midsole: Full Phylon Midsole that features a full-length, visible Air-Sole unit. A softer Polyurethane lateral heel crash pad softens initial impact.

Outsole: Full-length BRS 1000 carbon rubber outsole with Waffle-Fill outsole for enhanced traction.

stand by me - oasis

2005-10-21T07:47:00.000+08:00

Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday I've -
Gotta lot of things to learn
Said I would and I'll be leaving one day -
Before my heart starts to burn

So what's the matter with you?
Sing me something new... don't you know
The cold and wind and rain don't know
They only seem to come and go away

Times are hard when things have got no meaning
I've found a key upon the floor
Maybe you and I will not believe in the things we find
Behind the door

Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be
Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be
Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be

If you're leaving will you take me with you
I'm tired of talking on my phone
There is one thing I can never give you
My heart can never be your home

luging-lugi

2005-10-20T22:14:00.000+08:00

that was not worth P4000.

dota

2005-10-18T20:25:00.000+08:00

so that's what dota is all about... it's so amazing how one wc3 mod can be so addicting. but i'm not addicted. at least not yet. i'm just entertained.

beware of the takte. yesterday was one of the few occassions that everybody was present at the lan party.

highlights for each person

jona - the korean bbq
franz - i have a backup os installed.
rafi - my games folder is so used
coks - orange juice
nat - i got here first so i'll have this table all by myself mentality
leo - what orals?
me - my stone giant kicks ass.

i also got to backup a lot of my files in dvds. yahoo! 40gb free again! i hope it lasts me throughout the sem break.

3 1/2 gallons? no problem.

ube + cookies and cream + chocolate + takte = 0

-=+=-

walking was great. enjoyed it very much

hajime

2005-10-15T19:15:00.000+08:00

agenda for the sembreak:

rest - lost lots of sleep, now i'm gonna get some

lan parties - yeah, man does not live on single player games alone but on multiplayer as well

run everyday - just do it

increase proficiency in unix - it's cheap and it pays well. what could be a better investment?

go to the province - nothing beats the province air

beach - or wherever the magic takes me

clean up my stuff - reformat computers, clean room and polish shoes

master the web - use CSS with the following sites : sir raul, yerik, pm

poker - all in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

learn a foreign language - if it's not japanese, i think it will be COBOL

read - it's been a while since i've gone to cloakwood forest. must pay raistlin a visit

now, it has begun. game!

corpse bride!

2005-10-15T18:20:00.000+08:00

play dead!

another medal for burton and depp. hehe. lmao. full of puns and dark metaphors. recommended must see for a good laugh.

sem break!

2005-10-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

start of the semestral break, what to do... what to do... what to do???!!!! yahooooooooo!!!!

order taker

2005-10-14T06:20:00.000+08:00

Waiter! Pa-order naman ako ng porkchop
At tsaka ng dalawa ngang kanin
Lagyan mo na rin ng konting ketchup

Meron ba kayong chopsuey? (Wala po!)
Meron ba kayong adobo? (Wala rin po!)
Meron ba kayong bulalo? (Ubos na po!)
Meron bang kahit na ano? (Wala!)
Wala?

Hoy! Wala na bang ma-o,
Wala na bang ma-order, ma-order
Shet! Meron na ngang menu
Wala namang ma-order, O waiter
Sana naman may siopao man lamang o burger
Pa-order, pa-order, pa-order

Waiter! (Waiter!) Order! (Order!)
Waiter! (Waiter!) Order! (Order!)
Waiter na gwapito ano bang meron dito?
Waiter na gwapito meron bang
Chicken mami, longsi, toci, at tapsi
Pancit, lugaw, at lomi
Tokwa’t baboy, pares beef
Fried siomai, gutom na talaga ako
(Fried siomai) Gutom na talaga ako

T*** i**** carinderia, wala man lamang merienda!
T*** i**** carinderia, wala man lang magtitinda!

// can you guess which restaurant inspired this?
// yep, they used to frequent the place before it got burned

rant

2005-10-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

can't fucking sleep.

what do you do if...

you're fucking neighbor thinks he's the fucking king of the fucking world where he can fucking do as he fucking please. if he fucking wants to fucking drink with his fucking fellow squatters deep into the fucking night, then he will fucking do so. if he fucking wakes up at fucking 5am and fucking decides to play the fucking radio at fucking full-blast without fucking consideration for his neighbors, there is not a fucking thing you can fucking do.

now i'm fucking really considering put up a fucking concrete wall between our fucking houses. something to keep the fucking noise down. if it wouldn't be a fucking violation of the fucking law that fucking gives everyone the fucking right to fucking air and fucking light. how about me? don't i deserve any fucking sleep? it's been seven fucking years. it's amazing how i haven't fucking plugged the fucking geezer.

i don't see the fucking justice.

yes, i'd love to hear your comments.

fuck.

and fuck all the fucking school orgs who think my work is fucking free. time is the most expensive and valued of all my commodities. you don't just pop up and leave me fucking work expecting me to do it if you can't even say fucking thank you properly. i happen to value the time that i get for rest.

fuck.

oops. did i say something bad? my bad.

thursday is done!

2005-10-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

yahoooooooooooooooooooooooo!

finally finished thursday. how did it go?

Theo Orals - messed up because i wasn't able to regurgitate what she wanted to hear. guess what? i don't care. Theology is a very personal and subjective thing. while you are required to check the norms outside, one cannot be expected to answer the same generic question with the same answer. please ask to know, know to hear an answer. yep. i'm a bad student. but i try my best to be a good catholic. and that's what matters.

.Net Exam - chicken feed. Brute-forced one part because i had to leave earlier for a presentation.

.Net Program - showed two versions - a crappy version and a cool version. the crappy stinks, the cool doesn't have the source code with it. i need to follow it up.

KM Presentation - learned a lot today. can't be any happier. don't make dead-end websites unless you want to.

PM Presentation - the synergy of the best of the best can result in nothing less than the best.

great i can finally get a good night's rest!

bonnie bailey

2005-10-12T21:25:00.000+08:00

Three years ago my journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
Yet I fell hard for your imperfections

And now we’re slightly weathered, we’re slightly worn
Our hands grip together eye to eye through the storm yet
I still believe in ever after with you
Coz life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there ain’t no current in this river we can’t ride
I still believe in ever after with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we’re floating when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine
Emotions volcanic eruptions
We both still care so we’re still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want you I want to make it right

You are my twisted sunshine

thoughts

2005-10-12T20:56:00.000+08:00

sun tzu: "between two equally good plans, the one executed faster wins"

three more days and i'm free of this semester's academic shackles. this doesn't mean i coast though, it means that i have to step on the gas. i have to be ready for work that's waiting for me. it's another one of those "i don't know anything but i hope i get to do it kind of projects" that i got into. no matter, it has been done before and i should be able to do it. it's doable, but i don't think it will be easy. i have to rethink my strategy for this one. hehe, i need to practice and see what works best.

spider infestation. yeah. and i'm not exaggerating. you know the big kinds of spiders? those that have hairy three inch legs? it laid eggs the other night and how i wished that i had already killed it. the eggs have hatched already! wanna know how i know? because there are a million spiderlings all over the office below. freaking A. no time to clean it up now though. i still have to study.

hai, until then!

irreplaceable

2005-10-11T22:31:00.000+08:00

words cannot articulate the profundity of such jewel found amidst the company of fools.

shoes

2005-10-11T17:52:00.000+08:00

shoes.
4 pairs in 4 days.
each with a trait of its own.
gh bass, clarks, fila, nike.
professional, comfortable, dynamic, running.

discovered edible orange juice today. i have to cut down on my iced tea. drank a glass of orange juice this morning. tasted great. not the powdered one. the bottled, shake it, pour it, then drink it type. i'm getting more this weekend.

got the go-signal that i needed. i'm belly heppi. back to work.

updated schedule

2005-10-11T17:10:00.000+08:00

Tuesday

finish KM website

Wednesday

.net program
ISA Exam
theology thesis statements

Thursday

theology orals
.net Exam
PM Presentation

Friday

PM Exam
Trend Micro Competition (harhar)

Saturday

Sleep
Ateneo

And until then, i hope there isn't any blackouts, any headaches or disruptive sicknesses.
If i can make it through saturday, then that would be swell.

status messages

2005-10-10T18:20:00.000+08:00

the tiniest ripples tell stories ten fathoms deep

a blade that has never known sheath,
a hilt that has never known hand.

tempus fugit

MTG, 9th ed

bleh

2005-10-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

drinking coffee only makes me sleepy. the 2 packs of maxwell 3-in-1 worked for like 15 mins then i got sleepier than ever. is it the coffee or am i just plain weird?

louis armstrong

2005-10-09T16:08:00.000+08:00

502454250245420--------------------------0245--|
---------------0235325502353250232520--02------|
-------------------------------------33--------|

hubbabubbachisnax

2005-10-09T07:55:00.000+08:00

when the going gets tough, pipboy smiles and says, "hubbabubbachisnax!"

[ ] 10-10 isa paper
[ ] 10-11 data center defense
[ ] 10-12 isa exam
[ ] 10-13 net exam
[ ] 10-13 net program
[ ] 10-13 theo orals
[ ] 10-13 km site
[ ] 10-13 pm presentation
[ ] 10-14 j2ee paper
[ ] 10-14 pm exam
[ ] paglingap website
[ ] test nagios monitoring services
[ ] twg website
[ ] install Centos on Combatron

momentous occasion

2005-10-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

of course, i'm happy

hrmm

2005-10-06T22:54:00.000+08:00

if i can make it through one more day
then maybe all this will go away

make it through one more day
maybe it will all fade away

but i can make it
i will make it

not so dark anymore
not so cold anymore

with you around.

pasok!

2005-10-04T19:30:00.000+08:00

sana buffet sa manila penn... para sulit ung punta ko sa oct. 7. now, i ask myself, why the hell did i schedule an orals on oct. 8? what was i thinking? hrmm...

anyway... time to hit the mall for something to wear.

...

yep. whatever makes her happy.

that was pathetic

2005-10-03T20:56:00.000+08:00

i can't believe that.

where the hell did that come from?

don't worry, i know how to dance.

lots of work?

2005-10-03T20:10:00.000+08:00

tired? sleepy?

try watching "the ring"

not the american version eh. the japanese one.

works better than coffee for me.

agriculture

2005-10-02T23:07:00.000+08:00

it was one of my subjects during grade school. do you like plants? i like plants. the green soothes the eyes, the leaves help in the carbon cycle and they make good ornaments. they're good.

do you love plants? i love plants. i love plants especially those that have flowers. do you like flowers? i love flowers. though i only love sharing them. don't you think it's good to share the concept of beauty captured in a flower to a special someone? don't you think nothing expresses your thoughts and admiration better than a bouquet of flowers? i can be no other.

unfortunately, as i reflect of the situation, everything ends at some point or the other.

like a flower hid from the sun, it dies.
like a flower dehydrated of its necessities, it dies.

like a flower... it dies.

yeah. i'm talking about my shoes. thanks bowerman.

it was a wonderful 6 months jog with over 1,200 kilometers covered.

wireless technology

2005-10-02T15:21:00.000+08:00

i promise to fix it during the sem break.

transporter marathon

2005-10-01T22:00:00.000+08:00

watched transporter 1 and 2...

great movies with cooooooooool fight scenes. the script and transition in between events leave much to be desired though. impossible things keep popping up right after the other. however, it is a movie and an escapist's drug, so that's alright. i'm here for the fight scenes and car scenes, so who cares?

this movie will remind you of XxX ~ Vin Diesel.

procter and gamble test

2005-10-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

if the whole world were united, then maybe we'd have a better world.

took the p and g worldwide problem solving test today. passed it but don't know what that means. am i as good as the rest of the world? am i good because i passed the test? am i good because they say that i am good? lol. i don't know if i'm good but i know that the test was fun.

enjoyed the math problems very much. yeap. nothing beats good ol' algebra. the hardest part was shading the circles. i practiced yesterday shading rectangles for hours at end only to find out that the test required shading circles. but the learning curve was very good to me. after three shaded circles, i had my groove and the rest of the circles were history.

another difficulty i encountered was with my fellow contestants. damn. i thought it was going to be a boring test but it turned out that the 18th floor of 6750 had pretty and beautiful sights. if you looked at the windows, you'd see makati, edsa, the mrt, etc. a smorgasbord of miniature buildings that try to defy the laws of gravity amongst the swarm of vehicles prawling the busy streets of ayala. you'd see all of this...that is, if you had the chance to look outside.

oh did i mention that they had an elevator?

i'm off

2005-10-01T11:40:00.000+08:00

to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of 6750!

wish me divine intervention!

and when you run out of luck...

2005-10-01T01:34:00.000+08:00

luck is not random. it is not for the few. luck evens out in the long run.

if you keep flipping a coin, it will come up with a 50% head-50%tail ratio result.

so you can't rely on luck.

how about skill?

now that's something you can rely on. yeap. works all the time.
but what if there are others better than you?

then just try to make the most out of the situation.

like how i enjoyed being a noisy card dealer and in-game poker commentator earlier. hehe. it made me happy seeing other people laugh and enjoy.

hehe

furthermore, one more week. advanced happy birthday by the way.

this is the part where i stand up

2005-10-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

today was a very hectic but happy day. however, somewhere along the way, i realized something. i have to do something with my life. it is time for me to do my part.

the part where i organize my priorities
the part where i answer the ultimate questions asked by my good mentors
the part where i enact my two-part battleplan

not everyone will like it, but it's my life.
and it's high time i did something for myself.
i've had enough mugshots already.

bile will rise up your necks.
night will blend with the day.
as i serve...

in silence.

in the quiet recesses of the cold night.
in the petrifying scream of a mute

i will keep my silence. back to doing what i do best

optimistic

2005-09-30T06:09:00.000+08:00

I will do this.

Nothing in my life matters except this.

No moment in my life exists except this moment.

I am born in this moment, and if I fail, I will die in this moment.

iced tea

2005-09-29T22:28:00.000+08:00

there are very few reasons that can keep me away from my iced tea.

hoobastank.

work

2005-09-29T10:34:00.000+08:00

j2ee

sjsass project

.net

convert class notes to latex
treeview project

theo

orals

philo

orals
paper on kant

project management

business plan

information systems architecture

interview for data center best practices

knowledge management

website

extra-curricular

[outreach] website
[retailer] website
mail server setup
squid

it's not a burger, it's a dare

2005-09-29T10:05:00.000+08:00

// prepare environment variables for the program

Drinks drinks = new Drink( new Lipton(mango));
drinks.add(ice);
for int (i = 0; i < pipboy.bladderLength ; i++ )
{
drinks.mix();
drinks.drink();
}

Azureus az = new Azureus();
az.run();
az.download( DesHouWiv.torrent );

Playlist playlist = new Playlist();
playlist.add( RedAlert.hellMarch );
playlist.add( Audioslave.likeAstone );
playlist.add( FinalFantasy.oneWingedAngel );
playlist.add( FayeWong.eyesOnMe );
playlist.add( Origa.rise );
playlist.add( Cueshe.stay );
playlist.add( Howieday.collide );

Winamp winamp = new Winamp( playlist );

winamp.setVolume( .50 );
winamp.setRepeat( true );
winamp.setShuffle( true );
winamp.play();

Mood mood = new Mood( new Day() ) ;
mood.run();

// run main program

for ( int j = 0; j < work.length ; j++ )
{
work[j].finish();
}

// terminate program

Rest rest = new Rest();
rest.hours( 12 );
rest.run();

advent clip

2005-09-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

sephiroth : what is the most important thing to you? will you give me the pleasure of taking that away from you?

cloud : how pitiful. you don't understand anything at all.

there's nothing that isn't important to me.

hrm...

2005-09-28T21:29:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

star

2005-09-27T08:09:00.001+08:00

And I tried so hard just to be like you...

I'm just a star...

And I'll fade away too...

like you

doom 1 and 2

2005-09-25T21:27:00.000+08:00

if i play doom 1 and doom 2, will that give the same satisfaction as playing doom 3?
if i get two playstation ones, do i get a playstation two?
if i overslept to compensate for lost sleep, would that even out my sleeping bank account?

the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. there is no replacing the real thing.

go ateneo!

2005-09-25T18:02:00.000+08:00

win or lose, it's the school we choose. this is the place where we belong.

fairy tale weekend

2005-09-25T06:21:00.000+08:00

got to sleep for 14 straight hours! 4pm - 6am. must have been as long as the beautiful daughter's hair in rumpelstiltskin's story. this is a new record. the previous record that i had was 12 hours after an overnight party. coool.

i had a headache in the middle of the night because i was using the wrong pillow. i've got a weird physiological setup. either i use the softest pillow for my head or i use no pillow at all. i can sleep on the floor, wooden or concrete. i can sleep on a sofa, feet extending outside the sofa perimeter or body curled into a ball. i can sleep without a pillow. but i can't sleep with a lumpy pllow. yeah, something like the princess and the pea.

woke up at around 1 am for no particular reason. my body was complaining it already had enough sleep. but since there was nothing good to do at 1am, prince charming jumped back to dreamland.

dreamt about someone too. and how i wished i never woke up.

final fantasy

2005-09-24T09:35:00.000+08:00

after five or so years, i finally got to play final fantasy! after an hour of tinkering with the emulator's settings and plug-ins, i finally got running my old playstation one games! saved me around P5,000 for a new console! *Yes!*

played final fantasy 7 for a bit and reminded me of my care-free grade school days filled with nothing but fun.

would have wanted to play final fantasy 8 but the battle system is glitched and the menus won't show. hmm... too bad. i would have wanted to play this game again. if i could play the game - even until the end of disc 3 only (it has 4 game discs), i'd be happier than people who've actually finished the game. in my honest opinion, this is the best among the final fantasy series. i don't watch drama shows, i don't read romantic pocket novels, but i'm seriously reconsidering my 5,000 smackers just to see again the romantic story between squall and rinoa. if i could only reach the part where squall saves rinoa in outer space - the ragnarok scene - the part where faye wong sings "eyes on me," then that would be swell.

-=+=-

eyes on me
faye wong

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me

Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper

How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if your're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

harigato

2005-09-23T00:05:00.000+08:00

what a momentous occasion.

expectations are clear.

destination is set.

superhero

2005-09-21T23:38:00.000+08:00

if i were a superhero, i think i'd be a flop:

10 being the highest, 1 being the lowest

hard skills

AGILITY : 4
STRENGTH : 5
DEXTERITY : 5
INTELLIGENCE : 6
STAMINA : 9
LUCK : 8

soft skills

DETERMINATION : 9
SENSE OF URGENCY : 1
CREATIVITY : 9
DEDICATION TO SUCCESS: 1
OPTIMISM : 9
REALISM : 2

extra powers:

can do anything but not all at the same time.
will do anything and try all at the same time.
has the power to say yes
does not have the power to say no
has the power to motivate others
does not have the power to motivate self

i'd die not because of my enemies. but because of myself.

what i would do to become normal...
however, great power comes great responsibility.
so, i'd better pick up my cape and go back to work.

and yeah. i wanna be called pipboy if ever.

how about you? what kind of superhero would you be?

i did something good today

2005-09-20T20:32:00.000+08:00

i exercised today! after what - how many years? - i've finally gotten off my lazy be-hind and went walking today at moro. the fields would have been better but the weather wasn't just cooperating. damn, i miss that oval.

brisk-walked for one hour. so that's a 4.5-km warm-up for me. if i can keep doing this everyday, i think i can start jogging again by sem break. maybe just in time for galera. hrmm...i need to pump up my mileage if i'm going to get somewhere.

while i didn't sweat as much, the yellow gatorade was the perfect reward. i know i didn't deserve that bottle today, but what the hell. i need to indulge myself.

for what it's worth, the movie advent children has been very inspiring for today. after watching the film for eight times (excluding the one at the background as i blog and philosophize right now) over the past three days, i want to be as fit and healthy as loz. i can actually imagine the piano version of ff7 fight scene playing as i walk. hehe

no more zuruzuru zuruzuru.

see, tifa? i can change.

for the better.

on a lighter note

2005-09-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

i lost poker today! again! mwehehehe. third time that i'm second out. sheesh.... hehe. but i had fun. who cares? hehe

played doom 3 for the first time today! nakaka-adik! can't stop fraggin those demon spawns. at ung part na nakakatakot maglaro? takte! totoo pala un! hehehe

i have to get this game for myself. but i have to get a box that can play the game... hehehe.. played it on sir eric vidal's pc: p4 2.5 ghz, 1gb ram, 256mb video card... erm... need i say more? friggin' game machine. the video card is one whole pc in itself.

lol. no need to hurry. in a few years, this game will lag in requirements. and i'll be able to play it! mwahahahah!

if i get to finish my philo paper by 12, i'll watch advent children. again. not for the fourth time, but the fifth time.heheh

a toast

2005-09-19T19:01:00.000+08:00

to my friends who understand me and took the time to listen.
to my friends who really know what's happening right now.
to my friends who didn't need any explanation.
to my friends who i can talk about anything, nothing and everything.
to my friends who were always there, always are and always will be.

i couldn't ask for anything else.
nothing beats them.
yep, no, nothing.

light bulbs

2005-09-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

not a light bulb. doesn't come with an on and off switch.
like a light bulb. quite fragile and easy to break.
bright light bulb. illumine the way.
flourescent light bulb. bask in yellow.
dead light bulb. throw it away.
recycled light bulb. i did it my way.

light bulb idea! i love light bulbs. do you love light bulbs?

final fantasy: advent children

2005-09-18T00:10:00.000+08:00

in itself, it was just a movie full of fight scenes and uber-cool cgi. the film in itself does not have enough story or plot for the first time ff7 people. the movie's plot and character development sucks in itself.

HOWEVER...

if you've played ff7 or know the story, then this movie is a good chapter to add to the ff7 epic. with the benefit of not developing the characters and the plot, courtesy of pre-film ff7 game knowledge, the movie developers were able to come up with a movie several notches higher than their last movie, spirits within. it's a glorified in-game cut scene that's a hundred minutes long!

aside, tifa's in it too. and she rocks. /* picture courtesy of http://www.adventchildren.net */

-=+=-

watched final fantasy: last order too. this anime clip should be seen before ac though.

poker tip : Folding

2005-09-15T22:16:00.000+08:00

there is no shame in folding. folding is one of the best tactics in the poker table. people don't realize it. but folding is one of the arts to master if you want to keep winning poker.

initially, it's a good way to save some chips, especially when you have bad cards ~ when you have nothing at all.

however, there's more to it than the superficial economic need for survival. folding allows you to hide your cards. as such, there is no way for the opponent to be able to profile your actions in correlation with the cards that you have. many a times have i folded winning hands on the river just to keep my opponents at the dark. show only the cards that you need to show to mislead them with a profile that you want.

why? if the pot is not worth it, there is no need to get it. the road to victory is not paved with chips acqured as soon as possible. it might be difficult for noobies to understand, but when it works, it will work. such way of winning involves tempering your opponents with enough ambiguity and false confidence. it is quite difficult but still possible. it is out of place but no risk, no gain.

but more often than not, i just have sucky cards and i can't afford to lose chips. therefore, i fold.

it's all just a matter of a time

2005-09-13T06:33:00.000+08:00

it's all just a matter of time between the days and the nights
from a child being born and the taking of a life

and you'll see
it will be

it's all just a matter of time till what's new becomes old
till what's good becomes bad
until what's bought is sold

it will be
and you'll see

so just close your eyes and wait for a while
tomorrow is still a whole day

so don't despair
soon what's in your hair
will forever be brushed away

cause it's all just a matter of time
till what you've done get's erased

till love lost returns

till what you broke is replaced

you'll see it will be

-=+=-

poker - 2/6. good job sir jals. experience really is a factor. now i know more on how to play one-on-one games.

compassion. i can be no other.
all in. great tactic
i'm packing up. i also did
i have to go. me too
these are not my chips. of course.
it's the defining moment. i agree
and the blouse that looks like it has two layers but actually has one. no matter, it's still good.

forgive

2005-09-11T18:12:00.000+08:00

when you forgive your brother 70 x 7 times, it doesn't mean 490 times. it means stop counting.

it's not the unforgiven who's having a hard time sleeping. it's the unforgiving. so avoid high blood, ulcer and insomnia. forgive!

slow to anger and full of compassion, let Him lead the way.

a new haircut
a tube of blanks
two new books

life couldn't be any sweeter.

poker

2005-09-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

five games later, i'm in the rankings already! yahoooooooooooo! this time, i won first place! how cool is that? 7 players, last man standing! i must admit it was a pretty exciting slugfest. with me playing bad cards and folding too late, my road to victory wasn't smooth. it was rough and full of ups and downs. no matter, i made it.

next time though, i promise to do better. that's all i can do. next time will be a win-win situation. what i would give for that win-win situation... until next time, i'll be reviewing my playing style. each game is bringing me closer to that perfect playing style that i want. i can't expect to win every game though, but i promise that i won't go down without trying my bestest best. hehe, that's r-jay's trademark of doing things outside the box.

braids, cabal minion

2005-09-10T10:20:00.000+08:00

i really like setup decks. especially those that can lock your opponents down to mere shufflers. shuffle to win? i'd say shuffle all the way. i've built several decks of the like before.

i've had a pure red land-destruction deck that could strip your lands and assets till i can let my baby ball lightnings loose for the kill.

i've had a stasis deck that can make time stop and the phrase "i'm done" synonmous to the ticking of the clock.

i've had a blue-propaganda deck that stopped creature decks and decked you out.

i play these setup decks if i'm not playing my green gorilla deck. i'll bet you haven't seen a deck consistently crunch six 8/8 gorillaz for a normal attack.

but most of all, i like playing my black deck. nothing describes my character better than my black deck. though my deck has around six to eight superstars, i'd like to focus on braids today. i put braids on my deck to counter setup decks. nothing makes me happier than seeing my braids do its job on the table. once she drops, a symphony of curses rage onto my direction ... hmm, music to my ears.

dragon decks? watch braids destroy your artifacts. white nobility knight decks? get ready to plow or bow. cheap goblins decks? no comment. hasty sligh decks? slow down.

braids is one of those cards that can thwart setup decks and allow me to setup. and among my other decks, this black deck has been the most intelletually stimulating so far - sixty five cards allowing me to win in five different and unique ways.

my competition is six days away - next friday. i better get braids and company ready for a night of magic!

alfie by dionne warwick

2005-09-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

What's it all about, Alfie?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Alfie?
Are we meant to take more than we give
or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Alfie,
then I guess it's wise to be cruel.
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie,
what will you lend on an old golden rule?
As sure as I believe there's a heaven above, Alfie,
I know there's something much more,
something even non-believers can believe in.
I believe in love, Alfie.
Without true love we just exist, Alfie.
Until you find the love you've missed you're nothing, Alfie.
When you walk let your heart lead the way
and you'll find love any day, Alfie, Alfie.

grass

2005-09-01T04:05:00.000+08:00

what does it profit a man to gain the whole world but to lose his soul in the process?

i regret no action because that's always been my story. though next time, i'll make it look real. i'm still a beginner to these things.

poker

2005-08-31T19:39:00.000+08:00

played my "first" game of poker!!!! damn, placed 2nd out of 11. not bad for a beginner :D

this game is so cool! only magic: the gathering rivals such combination of power plays, politics, luck and card advantage. hmm... i wish i could play this more often. who wants to play? who wants to play?

hehe, don't know how to play? here are the basics of poker that i've learned so far :

- each player is dealt two cards with an intent to create the best "combination" of five cards
- the combination will come from the five cards that will be shown / laid down in the board and the hand that they have (so there's a total possible 7 cards, it's up to the player to see what kind of combination he / she can make)
- on the flop, the first three cards are laid down. players take round-robin turns and say whether they will stay for the game (they can check, bet, call or raise) or leave the current game (you fold if your cards suck)
- what's the difference between a check, bet and a raise? if no one has bet yet for the turn, people can check to stay in the game. however, if someone has already placed a bet, people should call (place the same amount of money into the pot) to stay in the game. there will be times when you feel you have the best cards and even want to raise the bet that's on the board. so, besides calling the bet, you add a little extra. people around the table now have to call the extra amount to stay in the game
- after the flop and the round of betting, there will be another round with one card laid down. this is called the turn. as you've noticed, at the flop, you can make a combination of 5 cards out of 5 only. however, on the turn, you can make the combo out of 6. as such, your chances of creating the best combination increases. however, such privilege has a price. since this round entails another round of betting. you can win big as you stay longer in a game as well as lose bigger.
- the last card to be dealt after the betting of the turn is called the river. we come to this point if there is still more than one player staying on the board - remember that people can fold along the way and one can actually win even on the flop.
- there are some issues such as the big blind and the small blind. this is to encourage the movement of chips. the blinds force people to bet, regardless of whether they want to or not.
- what are the possible combinations? (in increasing order of what beats what)

1.) high card (if nobody gets a combination, the winner is determined by who has the highest card. Ace being the highest. in the case of a tie, the winner is determined by the kicker that they have [the extra card in hand. my Q-7 beats your Q-4])
2.) pairs
3.) two pairs
4.) three-of-a-kind / trips / set (three cards of the same number)
5.) straight (five consecutive cards regardless of suit ~ A-2-3-4-5 or 10-J-Q-K-A )
6.) flush (five-of-the-same-suit)
7.) full-house (trips + pair)
8.) four-of-a-kind (four of the same number + any kicker)
8.) straight flush (a straight that's of the same suit)
9.) royal flush (a straight flush that ends with an Ace ~ 10-J-Q-K-A )

if there are any corrections, please tell me right away :D

hope to poke ya soon

i need no queen

2005-08-29T21:00:00.000+08:00

A kiss to build a dream on

2005-08-29T19:20:00.000+08:00

Give me a kiss to build a dream on,
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss.
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this:
A kiss to build a dream on.

Give me a kiss before you leave me,
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart.
Leave me one thing before we part,
A kiss to build a dream on.

When I'm alone with my fancies, I'll be with you,
Weaving romances, making believe they're true.

Give me your lips for just a moment,
And my imagination will make that moment live.
Give me what you alone can give,
A kiss to build a dream on...

seventy minutes

2005-08-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

that's the amount of time needed to brisk-walk from ateneo gate 2.5 to the gate at my house.

this follows a route through katipunan-balara-tandang sora.

see how an unfortunate incident can be turned into a wonderful opportunity.

-=+=-

personal making present

that's alright, r-jay

2005-08-24T15:12:00.000+08:00

'Cause this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wings
And made her mine
For all eternity
Now this angel has flown away from me
I thought i had the strength to set her free
I did what i did
Because i love her so

-=+=-

i might be tired, frustrated, humbled and degraded. but one can never really bring down the godhead.

my peripherals might go down, but i will be resourceful. plans can exist in pen and paper too, not just in your personal digital assistant. a broken o2 cannot stifle the visionary in me.

my necessities might be denied, but i will adapt. transportation vehicles should bring us to places - not prohibit us from getting to those places. a broken engine will not fare well against an experienced mechanic. therefore, my P10 is at the mechanic.

1 might be a lonely number, but i got myself a friend. there is a time, situation and place for everything. this is not my lifetime for it. actually, i couldn't be any happier right now. it's a new and happy experience for me.

my artistic flair might not satisfy the basic requirements, but i can do it too. what does it profit a man to have the air for himself if he loses everyone in the process?

i find it hard to believe that all this suffering has some meaning in this world. cool.

it's time to customize the goods to meet the client's needs.

if everyone lived like me, we would need 10.2 planets

2005-08-19T17:22:00.000+08:00

http://www.earthday.net/footprint/index.asp

as part of our requirements for theology class, we had to check out our ecological footprint. guess what? the average filipino has a 1.2 rating for the ecological footprint. i got 18.3! doesn't that tell how much am i consuming of the earth's finite resources?

if everyone lived like me, we would need 10.2 earth planets. hrmm... or maybe 1 jupiter should do the trick.

-=+=-

finally got my o2-xda2 fixed. after one month of waiting, it is now back from the grave! and the repair actually cost me 1/5 of my expected expenses. hmm.... now where should that extra 4/5 go... hrmm...

planning never got as good as this. with a three month warranty, i am good to go.

-=+=-

while everyone is obliged to say the truth, not everyone is obliged to speak all the time if a greater evil can be avoided. - Ranilo Hermida, Moral Philosophy Class

-=+=-

let us write until we get the next witness into the court room.

-=+=-

what do you get when you see three blind men led by a lady at the mall looking for a spot to have their lunch? ... really?... is that all that you get? ... is that all you see?

Why do angels have wings?

2005-08-18T00:14:00.000+08:00

God gave angel wings... so that they can leave and be replaced with better ones. It's all part of the plan - God's plans for everyone never ceases to amaze me.

So if you're in dire straits right now, i think your angel is just about to come.

// moving on

Poker is a very interesting game. It's much like the Filipino 'pusoy' card game. Though playing with chips presents a bigger challenge. A game of politics and assumption, this game has qualities similar to what i like in Magic: The Gathering CCG (collectible card game). While the concept of work is working hard with what one has and trying to make the most out of it (your cards, in particular), poker does away with such notions and introduces new elements.

The Human-Factor. In Poker, the H-Factor that i like the most is the bluff. People's actions are hard and difficult, though not impossible, to predict. While one generally has an action pattern in how to deal with things and situations which lead to character formation, Poker bastardizes one's character to give one a bigger chance of winning. The interaction and the suspense of bluffing your way to a winning hand makes the game highly unpredictable. You can have the worst hand at the table but with the proper luck and bluff, you can swing the chips to your side.

It's been a while since i've been caught in a game. Looking back, i see why i stopped playing the game. Fast and cheap shots will not get anyone anywhere for too long. To win the game, you have to beat the game and the referee of the game. However, for as long as i'm the referee of the game, you will never win the game. This is my court - my rules, my kind of game - and i say who wins the game.

*Yes*

the first post

2005-08-14T19:52:00.000+08:00

will always be about spam